Wow. I am distraught.

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Wow. I am distraught.

Post by FrumpleOrz » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:52 pm

Okay, so I'm working on my 3DO collection, slowly picking off the games I missing and so on, checking them off on a list. I'm trying to get some of the less common games right now so I can pick up whatever I'm missing for cheap later one. The other day on eBay, I won a lot of "4 adult 3DO Games." I know it's crazy, but I had to have them. It was Love Bites, Sex, Vivid Sampler, and Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

I wasn't expecting greatness from any of these. Who would? I do remember hearing about how just awful Plumbers is, so I've been curious to see it for a while. Oh my god. I just... can't believe that someone released that. Did they just MS Paint for the whole thing? I've seen videos made by young kids on YouTube that are lightyears ahead of this game.

I honestly don't know if I have ever played anything so terrible as Plumbers before and I doubt I'll ever play anything worse than it in the future. It's actually caused me to lose a lot of faith in humanity. The "game" is that bad. There's a special layer in Hell for the people responsible for this one.

Can anyone come up with a commercial release for a console that is worse than Plumbers? Is it possible that something could possibly be worse? I'm pretty sure even Ed Wood would start laughing at how poor this is. This has to be the bottom of the barrel, doesn't it?

I'm completely disgusted that I spent money on this game. I'm gonna have to take a better look at my priorities in life, I think.

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Trev » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:37 pm

FrumpleOrz wrote: I honestly don't know if I have ever played anything so terrible as Plumbers before and I doubt I'll ever play anything worse than it in the future. It's actually caused me to lose a lot of faith in humanity. The "game" is that bad. There's a special layer in Hell for the people responsible for this one.

Can anyone come up with a commercial release for a console that is worse than Plumbers? Is it possible that something could possibly be worse? I'm pretty sure even Ed Wood would start laughing at how poor this is. This has to be the bottom of the barrel, doesn't it?

I'm completely disgusted that I spent money on this game. I'm gonna have to take a better look at my priorities in life, I think.
You should post this in the reviews section. Seriously, its probably the best comments I've read about this "game"

As a 3DO fan, I'm ashamed that some people seem to have a soft spot for this trash, considering it some kind of guilty pleasure, cult classic, or "so bad it's good" thing. :oops:

Great post! :) I agree with everything you said.
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Post by Lemmi » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:50 pm

plumbers dont wear ties rules!
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Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:41 am

Lemmi wrote:plumbers dont wear ties rules!
Don't listen to Lemmi ... in this old thread he was gonna vote it as worst 3DO game ever ...

http://cdinteractive.co.uk/3do/forum/vi ... l&start=15

:wink:
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by ArfredHitchcacku » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:02 am

Please, good sir. It's not that bad. Yes, I said it. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I felt I needed to get it out there. There's far worse games.

Just what makes it not the worst of the worst? Simple. It isn't boring. OK, it's not grade A entertainment. But it's not boring. In fact, the game can be pretty funny and amusing, (of course in spite of itself) and the soundtrack is so 90's and so cheesy that it's one of my favorite on the system. Between the perverted, psycho boss, rockin' tunes, hot blonde chick, random, over-the-top crudeness, and just a general sense of jauntiness make this a fun one. OK, some of the scenes drag on too long, and it's far from a must-play or game I stick often into my 3DO, but I enjoy it every once in a while.

Want a really bad game? A game that's boring, bland, stupid, and not fun to play beyond belief? Try Big Rigs over the Road Racing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB1zWEhgrLs

I could pick out more polished, but maybe even more boring games. How about some Big Mother Truckers?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH2TC8SHmAU

Or the GBA version if you're really daring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f36AIoXJ8mM

Pretty exciting and unique stuff...Give me crappy Interactive Movie 3DO games any day.
BAD

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Post by FrumpleOrz » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:33 am

Want a really bad game? A game that's boring, bland, stupid, and not fun to play beyond belief? Try Big Rigs over the Road Racing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB1zWEhgrLs

I could pick out more polished, but maybe even more boring games. How about some Big Mother Truckers?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH2TC8SHmAU

Or the GBA version if you're really daring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f36AIoXJ8mM

Pretty exciting and unique stuff...Give me crappy Interactive Movie 3DO games any day.
Seriously? I'm not gonna say any of those games are good, but they're a big, big, big step in front of Plumbers. Even by FMV game standards, Plumbers is complete garbage and no redeeming qualities. It may not be boring, but neither is waterboarding and I don't see myself enjoying waterboarding anytime soon.

I had an open mind when I put the "game" in. I wanted to like it but as soon as that terrible MS Paint title screen popped up, I knew it was going to be a long trek down. The title has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

I'll give it this. It's not forgettable. If you've "played" it, you'll never forget it exists. Just like stumbling into your parents room while they're getting "romantic."

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Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:40 am

FrumpleOrz wrote: I'll give it this. It's not forgettable. If you've "played" it, you'll never forget it exists. Just like stumbling into your parents room while they're getting "romantic."
:lol:
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Post by Martin III » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:22 am

I don't think Plumbers Don't Wear Ties can really be called a game (even though they admittedly make that claim on the box). There are bonus features on some DVDs which have a similar level of interactivity to Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, and no one would consider calling them video games.

So, I don't think you can easily compare the likes of Plumbers Don't Wear to ties to Big Rigs Over the Road Racing, etc. They essentially belong to different mediums, so they're attempting (and failing miserably at) entirely different things.

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Austin » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:28 am

ArfredHitchcacku wrote:Please, good sir. It's not that bad. Yes, I said it. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I felt I needed to get it out there. There's far worse games.
I suppose everyone's 'entitled' to their opinions, but I have a difficult time believing the word of anyone that says 3DO DOOM is a good game.. :lol:

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by T2KFreeker » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:41 am

Austin wrote:
ArfredHitchcacku wrote:Please, good sir. It's not that bad. Yes, I said it. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I felt I needed to get it out there. There's far worse games.
I suppose everyone's 'entitled' to their opinions, but I have a difficult time believing the word of anyone that says 3DO DOOM is a good game.. :lol:
Who in the Hell said the 3DO DOOM is a good game? :shock: Surely, you jest!
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Austin » Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:10 am

T2KFreeker wrote:Who in the Hell said the 3DO DOOM is a good game? :shock: Surely, you jest!
Check out the 3DO DOOM thread. :lol:

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by JohnnyDude » Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:40 am

ArfredHitchcacku wrote:Please, good sir. It's not that bad. Yes, I said it. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I felt I needed to get it out there. There's far worse games.
Phew! Someone finally said it. I can come out of the closet on this one.

I have Plumbers Don't Wear Ties and I bought it when 3DO games were still in stores! I'm not sure that I ever had the box, I just have the CD now. Darn.

I don't think the game is that awful. I'd read several "choose your own adventure" books, and I just saw the game as one of those. Certainly wasn't high on replay value. Of course, this was a time when I was getting the games for 5 bucks maximum, so I didn't particularly mind that it wasn't at all deep or challenging. I think, though, I even showed the game to a couple friends because it was entertainment enough, like popping in a movie to watch. Bottom line, though, I didn't find the game frustrating.

In fact, I'd say I was more frustrated with other games that probably get higher marks. Take Alone in the Dark 2. I loved the first game, but this sequel drove me crazy. The controls (even turning left or right) were awful, the graphics were sluggish, and the "puzzles" were contrived and often impossible. It was excruciating. As far as fun goes, I had more fun playing sim-girl with Plumbers Don't Wear Ties than I did being disappointed and punished with some other games like Alone in the Dark 2.

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by T2KFreeker » Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:52 am

Austin wrote:
T2KFreeker wrote:Who in the Hell said the 3DO DOOM is a good game? :shock: Surely, you jest!
Check out the 3DO DOOM thread. :lol:
I am afraid. I reviewed DOOM for Classic Video Gamer Magazine when I was working there and it was still in print. My review was not very positive!
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:15 am

JohnnyDude wrote: I don't think the game is that awful. I'd read several "choose your own adventure" books, and I just saw the game as one of those.
No! :twisted: If you are gonna defend the game than so be it, but please don't compare it to my child treasures known as the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. CYOA books are amazing! The only amazing thing about Plumbers, is that some people paid full retail price for it ...
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by T2KFreeker » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:21 am

Trev wrote:
JohnnyDude wrote: I don't think the game is that awful. I'd read several "choose your own adventure" books, and I just saw the game as one of those.
No! :twisted: If you are gonna defend the game than so be it, but please don't compare it to my child treasures known as the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. CYOA books are amazing! The only amazing thing about Plumbers, is that some people paid full retail price for it ...
Not True, the chick is hot at least. Still a bad game though. Besides, it's worse that some people pay over $100.00 for it now!
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:41 am

T2KFreeker wrote:
Trev wrote:
JohnnyDude wrote: I don't think the game is that awful. I'd read several "choose your own adventure" books, and I just saw the game as one of those.
No! :twisted: If you are gonna defend the game than so be it, but please don't compare it to my child treasures known as the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. CYOA books are amazing! The only amazing thing about Plumbers, is that some people paid full retail price for it ...
Not True, the chick is hot at least. Still a bad game though. Besides, it's worse that some people pay over $100.00 for it now!
Is she worth seeing the dudes naked butt for? :lol:

Give me Tracy from Snow Job, Tia from Daedalus Encounter, that chick from Corpse Killer, etc ... lots of fine 3DO ladies, and the games are actually good too. 8)
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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by JohnnyDude » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:53 am

Trev wrote:Is she worth seeing the dudes naked butt for? :lol:

Give me Tracy from Snow Job, Tia from Daedalus Encounter, that chick from Corpse Killer, etc ... lots of fine 3DO ladies, and the games are actually good too. 8)
You probably know this too, but in Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, there's even a cheat code to remove the censor images. And when you're 15, it's worth sitting through a few shots of John's glistening, well-formed buttocks to get a look at that side boob! Wooo!!

And c'mon, Daedalus Encounter just didn't do the trick. There's only ONE scene with potential boobage, and it's a first person view from Zack when she's trying to shake him back into consciousness. You get a brief view down the shirt. Talk about disappointing. Regardless, I remember the scene vividly; an unbeknownst accomplishment on the game designers' part.

Wow, I certainly beat around the bush as a teenager. All this effort even when there were adult titles on the same system? Ridiculous.

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by T2KFreeker » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:34 am

JohnnyDude wrote:
Trev wrote:Is she worth seeing the dudes naked butt for? :lol:

Give me Tracy from Snow Job, Tia from Daedalus Encounter, that chick from Corpse Killer, etc ... lots of fine 3DO ladies, and the games are actually good too. 8)
You probably know this too, but in Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, there's even a cheat code to remove the censor images. And when you're 15, it's worth sitting through a few shots of John's glistening, well-formed buttocks to get a look at that side boob! Wooo!!

And c'mon, Daedalus Encounter just didn't do the trick. There's only ONE scene with potential boobage, and it's a first person view from Zack when she's trying to shake him back into consciousness. You get a brief view down the shirt. Talk about disappointing. Regardless, I remember the scene vividly; an unbeknownst accomplishment on the game designers' part.

Wow, I certainly beat around the bush as a teenager. All this effort even when there were adult titles on the same system? Ridiculous.
Yes, but they don't have Tia Carrere in them. :mrgreen:
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Post by elitegamer » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:03 pm

True experience... I went to get this title back in the day! Took a bus 1hr 1/2 bus ride to get it (round trip). Got home popped it in... 10-15 minutes later I was back on the bus. I don't know how Alfred does it, but he does. He's been promoting Plumber's since he came on board. FrumpleOrz, Trev it be a pleasure, at least you guys aren't making a mockery of one my favorites.

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Martin III » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:35 pm

Trev wrote:Give me Tracy from Snow Job, Tia from Daedalus Encounter, that chick from Corpse Killer, etc ... lots of fine 3DO ladies, and the games are actually good too. 8)
Corpse Killer, good??? :shock:
elitegamer wrote:True experience... I went to get this title back in the day! Took a bus 1hr 1/2 bus ride to get it (round trip). Got home popped it in... 10-15 minutes later I was back on the bus.
Interesting. How did you hear about the game, then?

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Re: Wow. I am distraught.

Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:03 pm

Martin III wrote:
Trev wrote:Give me Tracy from Snow Job, Tia from Daedalus Encounter, that chick from Corpse Killer, etc ... lots of fine 3DO ladies, and the games are actually good too. 8)
Corpse Killer, good??? :shock:
Sure. You don't like it? For a light gun game, I think it's pretty good. Certainly better than many of the ALG games.
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Post by elitegamer » Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:14 pm

Martin III... Its hard to say how I heard about the game cause it was sooo ling ago. I think my friend and I were looking through a magazine, EGM or something. We had this alternating "game buying" thing arranged. Although it was my turn to get a game, it was his insistence that we try it out (most likely for the semi-adult content). Either way the game-- ER ah wait... I ment-- software was so drab. It had to go back immediately!!!!

I found a quote in a user review blog, that expresses my opinion of this particular, whatever you wanna call it...

"It's all still show...,no enemies, just a ridiculous PowerPoint slideshow". The box says "Plays like a game, feels like a movie!" but guess what it doesn't!! Thanks for the lies Kirin Ent. This game (ha) s a disgrace to gaming ...".

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Post by Lemmi » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:36 pm

Trev wrote:
Lemmi wrote:plumbers dont wear ties rules!
Don't listen to Lemmi ... in this old thread he was gonna vote it as worst 3DO game ever ...

http://cdinteractive.co.uk/3do/forum/vi ... l&start=15

:wink:
hey let other people find my lies :P
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Post by Trev » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:42 pm

:lol:
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Post by FrumpleOrz » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:57 pm

All of the talk about women in the old 3DO games and no one mentions Talana from Star Control 2? She's from an entire race of sirens, for Christ's sake! There's a reason The Captain wants a touch-o-vision screen, after all.

The Mycon are a close second though. Man, those gorgeous pods. I'd kill to become one with Juffo-Wup!

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Post by 3DOKid » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:01 pm

FrumpleOrz wrote:All of the talk about women in the old 3DO games and no one mentions Talana from Star Control 2? She's from an entire race of sirens, for Christ's sake! There's a reason The Captain wants a touch-o-vision screen, after all.

The Mycon are a close second though. Man, those gorgeous pods. I'd kill to become one with Juffo-Wup!

-Signed, Admiral Zex

This made me laugh out loud for some reason. :)

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Post by JohnnyDude » Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:13 am

FrumpleOrz wrote:All of the talk about women in the old 3DO games and no one mentions Talana from Star Control 2?
I almost mentioned Star Control 2. Something about ogling non-live-action babes seemed too nerdy. But, since you busted that wall down, HELL yeah Talana's a babe. I've "forged alliances" with her several times.

So uh... the Mycon. Am I to understand that you let them "plant spore sacs in your brain and let their tendrils spread through your flesh"? Goodness.

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Post by FrumpleOrz » Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:36 am

JohnnyDude wrote:
FrumpleOrz wrote:All of the talk about women in the old 3DO games and no one mentions Talana from Star Control 2?
I almost mentioned Star Control 2. Something about ogling non-live-action babes seemed too nerdy. But, since you busted that wall down, HELL yeah Talana's a babe. I've "forged alliances" with her several times.

So uh... the Mycon. Am I to understand that you let them "plant spore sacs in your brain and let their tendrils spread through your flesh"? Goodness.
Tentacles aren't your style, huh? Maybe the fantasy of being Tanaka and getting the Shofixti maidens all to yourself is more your style?

Or maybe you're into being... oppressed by the Kzer-Za? You're a sick dude, man. That's out there.
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Post by Lemmi » Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:43 am

i will take a 1994 ginger lynn over all of them :)
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Post by JohnnyDude » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:55 am

FrumpleOrz wrote:Tentacles aren't your style, huh? Maybe the fantasy of being Tanaka and getting the Shofixti maidens all to yourself is more your style?

Or maybe you're into being... oppressed by the Kzer-Za? You're a sick dude, man. That's out there.
I'm on to you, mister; you're just trying to take away attention from yourself. A very loose-tongued Melnorme happened to tell me about a fender bender you got into in which your flagship's glove compartment popped open and spilled its contents. At first your crew assumed it was just photos of fireworks but soon everyone realized it was issues of the Slylandro Sluts magazine. Glowy bits. Everywhere. You should be ashamed. Some of those Slylandro weren't even a Drahn old.

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